When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you think of? Hmmm….Lately, I’ve been trying to focus on all the good things in my life but sometimes I revert back to old negative thinking habits. I’m talking about constantly thinking of the worst scenario for whatever situation I am currently in.
The blog content is not a replacement for advice you would receive from a licensed professional. I am NOT a medical expert. Always seek the advice of your physician with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
This type of thinking is called rumination. It can even become a never ending self-destructive cycle. PsychCentral states that “even when everything is going well, we tend to hyperfocus on the one negative thing that happened during the day”. This type of thinking isn’t good for us. It puts us in miserable state which affects our whole day. There are many reasons as to why one develops rumination such as low self-esteem, inability to face one’s fears, past traumatic events, and perfectionism. It can turn a happy sunny day into a gloomy depressing one instead. Carrying this dark cloud throughout the day can harm our overall wellbeing. According to PsychCentral, “research has shown that rumination is associated with a variety of negative consequences, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance use, and binge-eating.”
I know the conversation just got serious but toxic thinking does occur, and it can become a vicious cycle. Here are 5 ways to eliminate toxic thinking;
Address your ruminating thoughts
A way to stop ruminating is to address it immediately. I like to ask myself questions –what am I most afraid of? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Healthline suggests to “outline each step you need to take to address the problem, or write it down on a piece of paper. Be as specific as possible and also realistic with your expectations.”. If we tackle the problem head on it will lead us to overcome it. It can be scary to acknowledge our fears but it is better to see them in the light than push them back into the dark. Recognizing our fears will lead us to mend our hearts and our minds, this healing process allows us to grow as individuals.
Meditation can defiantly help to clear out our minds, and bring us to a calmer state. As we practice meditation we soak in the benefits that come along with it. We become more in tune with our feelings, our cognitive awareness improves, and our stress fades away. Let’s not forget how meditation can help us heal our emotional health. Studies have shown that meditation improves self-image and self-worth. “When we meditate, we get a clear picture of our mind and become aware of the thoughts that drive our emotions and actions at the moment” (4). The next time you can’t turn off that mind machine, find a quiet place, turn on a meditation podcast and clear your thoughts. I recommend Stress Free Naturally by Ashlie Pappas.
Mindfulness is when you are aware of what you are feeling in that particular moment. Sometimes we are stuck on autopilot and do not see what is going on around us. Mindfulness is being in the present and enjoying the moment we are in. Not thinking about the pain we experienced in the past or dreading the possibilities of failures in the future. Life can be busy sometimes, and when you need a moment to slow down, take it. Look around and see all the wonderful things we have in our lives. Appreciating the little things does gives us a better perspective how truly great we have it. When I am stuck in a toxic thinking rut, I look around and praise the heavens for what I have in front of me. Sounds mushy, I know, but I am being honest here. I am grateful for the roof over my head, the clean water I drink, and the people that love me for being me.
As you know, distractions are a great way to break us from anything we are focusing on. Am I right? We are in the middle of a task then a distraction hits! And we forget our previous task. Why not use these diversions as a way to revert us away from our contemplative ways. Now I am not saying we should ignore the issue, no, I am saying if we have already addressed our fears and somehow we revert back to our old thinking habits, we can use a distraction to break the repetitive sequences that just won’t shut off in our brains. Exercise can be the distraction we need in order to quiet our minds. There are so many physical health benefits when we workout. Why not use exercise to rebuild our mental health as well?
Talk to someone
When you have reoccurring thoughts, and do not know what to do seek out a friend and talk it over with them. Healthline states that “ruminating thoughts can make you feel isolated. Talking about your thoughts with a friend who can offer an outside perspective may help break the cycle”. If we open up and share our worries with someone we trust, it can give us another outlook on things. As we talk about our troubles, there is a chance we may discover something that we weren’t able to see before. I know that opening up can be hard, and if you don’t want to talk about it with someone in your inner circle that’s okay; a therapist can help as well. There is no wrong in seeing a therapist. Therapy can help us process our issues and find constructive ways to deal with them.
Negative thinking can make us feel completely drained, and can ruin our day before it even begins. It’s hard, sometimes we ruminate about the past or worry about the future uncertainties, but these things aren’t our current reality. We need to be in the moment and enjoy what’s in front of us. Lately, I have been setting little goals for myself when it comes to improving my mental health. In the morning, I say one thing I am grateful for waking up to, and somehow it turns into a million things. My husband, my kiddo, my dogs, my warm bed, and the roof over my head…you get the idea. If you have troubles shutting off that chatty thinker of yours…just remember these 5 tips mentioned above.
Thanks for stopping by
Written by Bold_Beauty_Stacey
Feature Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels. Modify by Bold_Beauty_Stacey
Post Photo by Eternal Happiness from Pexels. Modify by Bold_Beauty_Stacey
Everyone is in self-isolation due to the coronavirus, which means less socialization, and more self reflection. Yes, let’s take this time to self reflect, and get to know ourselves, again. When’s the last time we wrote a journal entry? or took out our paint brush?
I know staying at home can be a bit of a bore but that doesn’t mean there is nothing to do. Shut off that TV, and try something new….it’s not everyday we get a chance to enjoy the little things we used to love. ( You know before life got in the way).
Or take the time to tackle that to-do list you’ve been meaning to get to. This is the perfect time to spring clean the house!
If you are stuck and need something new to do? Take a look at the list above, and choose something that intrigues you. Self-isolation can be hard on the mind, body, and soul. We can get lonely or bored easily when we are not interacting with others but during this time it’s the safest thing to do to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. Spend time with yourself, and reconnect.
Thanks for stopping by. Remember to be kind to yourself, and to others.
When it comes to relationships, we never really think about how they benefit us in the long run. Sometimes we take our relationships (whether it’s a partner, a family member, a lifelong friend or even a new relationship) for granted. We don’t really sit back and evaluate how things have been going. But if we did, then we might be able to discover how our connections benefit us mentally, and physically.
It turns out that being in a healthy strong relationship can lower rates of anxiety and depression, as well as increase ones self-esteem, and trust (1)(2). When we surround ourselves with people that bring out the best in us we tend to shine a little brighter. We get those feel good vibes, and there is a reason for that. “A… line of research suggests that caring behaviors trigger the release of stress-reducing hormones.”(1). We build relationships to pursue love, joy, and connection, but we gain so much more. Let’s take a moment and think of a relationship in our lives…How do our interactions make us feel? Do we feel energized? Or strung-out? Content or worried? Our daily interactions do impact our lives. BetterHealthChannel states that “Strong, healthy relationships can also help to strengthen your immune system, help you recover from disease, and may even lengthen your life.” When we encounter many good moments with our loved ones it influences us to make better choices with our lives so we may live a bit longer
Our minds are constantly working, and if we don’t have that mental stimulation then our minds become sluggish. One study states that people who maintain strong relationships in their golden years have a lesser chance of cognitive impairment (2). We have discussions to bounce ideas back and forth so we may gain new perspectives, but have we ever noticed how all this bantering is good for us? It keeps our gears (mind) constantly moving. We aim to create healthy relationships to feel good feelers but sometimes we experience bad situations. There are negative people or experiences that can put a lot of stress on a person which can negatively influence their health. Stress can lead to headaches, insomnia, depression…and well much more. According to a study, people that maintain a negative connection tend to have a greater risk of developing heart disease (5). Yes, this is daunting but if we eliminate the stresses and aim for healthier connections our overall health will improve. One study found that married women who were in a satisfying relationship had a lower risk of developing heart disease compared to those in less satisfying marriages (1).
A healthy relationship should bring more joy than stress (6). When we seek out company, let’s turn to those who make us feel at ease, happy, and inspire because not only does it do wonders for our soul but for our mind and body as well.
Are we getting tired of the cold weather and craving for warmer days? Well, don’t be too glum about it because spring is right around the corner. Sunnier days will be peaking out soon which means we can (soon, very soon) swap up our pullover knitted sweaters, puff jackets, and leather booties for those classic spring attire; you know, the denim jacket, a cute mini polka dot top, and distress jeans paired with a good white sneaker. What about those fashion pieces that give your wardrobe that extra flair that either polishes off your look or makes your style distinctive? You can simply add those eye catching pieces to your existing wardrobe. Now you just got to ask yourself which alluring piece am I going to dominate?
Besides fringe pieces, open knit tops, vests, sheer and mesh fabrics being hot trends this season, also look out for;
Soft pink is everywhere this spring. This attractive color makes me feel girly, pretty, and empowers my feminine side. Although Addition Elle’s Woven Bomber Jacket is super comfortable, it’s the color that adds a dash of flair to its laid back look. Another pretty-in-pink beauty is the Pleated Satin Skirt from H&M. Pair a white blouse with this alluring piece and you’ll be twirling in no time.
The puff sleeve is hitting the stores and they add that feminine touch to any piece. I think of the ladies from a Jane Austen novel in their regency looking gown, but the puff sleeve today isn’t as it used to be. H&M’s green pattern puff sleeve dress has a slit in the front, and a daring but respectable square neckline.
Daring but respectable neckline??…think…Phoebe Buffay talking about her wedding dress. “Highlights my breast in an obvious yet classy way”. 😉
Classics like mini polka dots, denim jackets, boyfriend jeans, distressed jeans and lace tops will never go out of style…
Terry Hooded Denim Jacket
In my opinion, this piece is a must have! What’s not to love? I know, I know, it doesn’t polish your look but it sure does make you look badass! So the next time you are having a girl’s night out, throw on your Denim & Terry Hooded Crop Trucker Jacket and own it! How would I dress my Terry Hooded Denim Jacket? With a cute tee, black distressed jeans, and ankle boots.
The thing about classic spring pieces that they are stylish no matter how much time has gone by, but sometimes we crave a bolder look. That’s when we reach out for those daring trend pieces and add them to our current wardrobe. As you swap over your wardrobe from winter to spring and realize that you yearn for something new… Try out what’s trending, who knows maybe you’ll find something you love.
It’s never too late to think about your goals, and what you want to accomplish whether it be within the New Year, or within the next 6 months. We all have goals we want to accomplish but we should reflect back as well. This gives us an opportunity to recognize our successes but also look at things that we want to improve. Celebrate your accomplishments! And recognize all the hard work you did over the last year. Here is my 2019 reflection;
2019 is the year that my first kiddo was born, and boy, oh boy! Did I learn some new stuff! You’re hardly sleeping, and you’re starving but hardly notice it because you are constantly on the go. Sounds appealing, right? I know it doesn’t but then something wonderful happens. Unexpectedly, your baby bursts out laughing and everything else just fades away. I found it hard at the beginning but when I found my groove things got easier as time went by. You start to pick up on a routine, naps become longer and you start to feel more like yourself again. A huge eye-opener for me was acknowledging, no, accepting help from others. It’s okay to ask for help….this one was hard for me. I wanted to do everything by myself but that caused me to burn out easily. Lean on the people around you, and ask for help when you need it. Those cheering you on, those are the people you want to keep around.
Adult time is essential
As a stay at home mom, you get caught up in so much baby talk that you kinda forget who you were before. There’s nothing wrong in embracing your mama bear persona but before kiddos you were you ( a writer, DIY enthusiast, a photographer, etc) and all those wonderful things made you, YOU! I decided when I had time to myself that I would focus on things that I love doing, and that’s where this blog came in. When I schedule me time – I would focus on my hobbies, practice self-care or go out on coffee dates. Having some me-time not only restored my energy but also made me feel like I was progressing as an individual. Take an hour for yourself and dedicate that time to what makes you, you. Break out that journal and write it out. Create that awesome do it yourself headboard. Take pictures that inspire you. You do you girl!
When you have a kid, you suddenly evaluate your health, well, I know I did. I have this little bundle that I want to see grow up and I need to make sure I am around to witness that. Whoa! Shit just got real. I fixated on my health so much that I burnt myself out immediately then reverted back to old stinking bad habits ( you know, staying up late, eating whatever all the time, being a couch potato). I realized that I just need to put in the effort and time into my health goals. My goal is to surround myself with people that have similar health goals, subscribe to my favorite health and fitness reading material, follow badass babes that conquer their workouts…and well, you get the point. My game plan is to immerse myself with inspiring aspirations that motivate me daily. I know I can’t do everything, but my plan is try each day. It’s okay to miss a workout here and there. We all have struggles, the main point is to recognize those struggles and work on them so we can grow and improve ourselves bit by bit. It’s about progress, not perfection. ( I love that saying so much).
Goals for 2020
be more active
eat more whole foods
create an epic night time routine
more coffee dates
create more content for my blog
drink more water
finish my short story
knit a master piece ( or try to knit)
I like having goals to strive towards because it gives me a sense of direction to aim for. It’s okay to miss a goal here and there that just means you can accomplish it down the road. (We are human beings, people! Not robots! Lol). Seriously do as much as you can that feels right to you. Take a moment for you, and set your goals. You can see what you accomplished so far and decide what to work on next. Don’t forget to praise all your hard work ( sh*T! even reward yourself…hellooooooo! Glass of wine or in my case, helloooooo! Glass of Stiegl ). Be excited for your goals, I know I am.